Sunday, May 13, 2007

Good morning everyone! This is Molly Lash MacDonald reporting for the Daily Uterus. Among other important world news stories such as political riots in Pakistan and President Bush's relentless pursuit of known communist sympathizer Michael Moore, is the fact that my mother Melissa is pregnant (with me of course). Recently, I was able to catch up with her for this candid and revealing interview of a determined young woman in the throes of nascent motherhood.

Molly: Good morning Mom and happy Mother's Day!

Melissa: Good morning Molly and thanks for having me.

Molly: Well Mom, it's really YOU whose having ME.

(cautious controlled laughter on both sides)

Molly: Let's get down to it. Have you enjoyed being pregnant with me or not?

Melissa: Yes, of course! I've loved watching my belly grow and feeling you move around inside of me. Any discomfort I had at the beginning was well worth having you here and healthy. I already feel very connected to you!

Molly: But isn't it strange to have something growing inside you? Even if it is me...

Melissa: It's not strange. It's a miracle and a blessing! It's amazing to feel life growing inside you. My favorite part of the day is when you move! I feel complete because my body is doing what it was meant to do.

Molly: You make it sound as if pregnancy is all roses. Tell me honestly, what is the most difficult thing about being pregnant?

Melissa: Probably not being able to sleep well. Every night I have to try to arrange pillows in just the right way so that you and I can both sleep comfortably. It's like some ridiculous jigsaw puzzle where the pieces are constantly changing! Morning sickness and back pain are not that great either.

Molly: Sometimes in the middle of the night I awake to a terrible screeching and yowling noise. Is there some terrible monster in the house you're not telling me about?

Melissa: Don't worry. That's just your feline brother Maxie trying to get our attention. He likes to walk around the house in the early morning hours yowling and whining. It's annoying but harmless.

Molly: I read that pregnant women crave certain foods. Are there any foods that you can't live without?

Melissa: Tillamook sharp cheddar - the kind that comes in the black loaf. It's incredible! I have your Dad make me macaroni and cheese with it. I also love strawberry yogurt with almonds and whole wheat toast with strawberry jelly.

Molly: So why Molly Lash MacDonald?

Melissa: I have always loved the name Molly. And it starts with an M so you share my intials as well as a first intital with your uncle Matthew and your grandfather Michael. Lash is your great grandmother's name and I have always felt that she is my guardian angel. Maybe she will be yours too! MacDonald is our family name, but you already knew that.

Molly: O.K. seriously, what is going on with my bedroom? Are you and Dad planning on just plopping me down on the floor amongst all those boxes?

Melissa: Well, we were sort of hoping you wouldn't notice... The truth is that your new furniture should be arriving this week. Once it is here, your Dad and I will begin to fix up your room and organize your new belongings. We have already started to get you the clothes and supplies needed to keep you warm, clean, safe, and entertained.

Molly: Amen sister! I mean Mom... Since my coordination won't be so hot for the first few years I'm counting on you to dress me. Please be kind... no bonnets or sailor outfits please.

Melissa: Don't worry. When you look good, I look good.

Molly: Speaking of which, you DO look good. What are you doing to stay in shape?

Melissa: I walk and do prenatal yoga once a week. It helps me learn how to breathe and stretch my body to make room for you.

Molly: Last question. If you were Angelina Jolie, what country would you choose to birth me in and why?

Melissa: Hmm...definitely a Spanish speaking country - most likely in South America. I speak Spanish and want you to be bilingual too.

Molly: Muchas Gracias! Is there anything else you would like to add?

Melissa: I love you very much and am doing everything I can so that you are happy, healthy, and strong. I want you to continue to enjoy a safe development until you are ready to join us on the outside!

Thanks for the interview Mom. You sure know how to put a partially developed brain at rest. This reminds me, I need to get some rest. Later, I have to do some back flips and then see if I can put my foot in just the right spot so that you think you have to pee (trust me - it's hilarious). This is Molly Lash MacDonald signing out until next week.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You guys are too cute, thanks for sharing your daily happenings with us, and making so entertaining with your quick wit and flowery prose!
We can't wait to meet cuz Molly!

~The James Gang

Althea said...

So cute! Molly's got some great interviewing skills! Melissa, look at your belly!!! Oh wow!!! I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day! :)
Much luv,
Althea