Sunday, May 27, 2007

Hello all. And welcome back to Molly's blog. Molly is currently resting after a hard week of packing on pounds, in utero acrobatics, and the aforementioned "step-on-the-bladder" game - still surprisingly hilarious. As such, I will be in charge of the blog this week and trying to squeeze in a little Daddy content. Moms and Moms-to-be beware! You may not agree with all the following assessments of pregnancy related activities. If this happens, just picture yourself in your "special place" and breathe backwards from ten. Don't you fell better already? See Melissa, I did learn something in the birth class :).

Speaking of birth classes, that is where Melissa and I spent last weekend - ALL weekend. I'll be honest, there were more than a few times I thought about grabbing our pillows and making a break for it. But to be fair, I did learn a lot about the birth process and felt like it helped refocus our energy towards the baby. In general, we watched a lot of videos about people giving birth which probably would have earned an X rating in the theaters. Afterwards, I recommended to the facilitator that said videos might be more effective as birth control for sexually active teens (I'm kidding of course, any husband that has been to one of these classes knows this kind of comment would have drawn chuckles from the husbands, cold stares from the other wives, a jab in the ribs from your wife, and a cool, tight-lipped smile from the facilitator who now wholeheartedly believes you are an ignorant and insensitive cave man).

We also learned a lot about breathing and practiced ways to relax your wife during labor. For example, if your wife is in pain, make a fist and drive it unmercifully into the small of her back until she feels better. Simple right? I think the effectiveness of breathing exercises were best summed up in a book a friend gave me to read - a book about pregnancy written by a husband. He said to imagine yourself being kicked in the balls every three minutes for hours on end. This is probably what is feels like to be in labor. Now imagine that every time you were kicked in the jewels your wife told your to find your "special place" and breathe backwards from ten... All I know is that I'm going to owe Melissa big time after she gives birth to Molly. Let's face it boys, we are getting off easy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What great work. Love DAD.