Escape to the T.O.

On December 28th Mini-Mols got to take a special trip far up into the hills outside of Los Angeles to a magical place known to a lucky few as "The T.O." Here at the country estate of the Prehns, Lash got to meet two amazing kindred spirits named Lilah and Leif. Though three months her junior, Lilah and Leif proved to be excellent companions to little Molly with their enthusiasm for breast milk, pooping, and sleeping. Molly was just glad to have some intellectual equals around at last. Mom and Dad can be so juvenile at times with their high pitched voices and constant singing...

On the way home, the MacDonalds got held up in traffic and Molly gave new meaning to the word earsplitting. Dad thinks that the CIA should forget waterboarding as a means of interrogating terrorists and instead use baby-on-boarding, a technique in which suspected enemy combatants are forced to sit in L.A. traffic with a screaming baby in the car. Without a doubt, the world would be a much safer place.

Molly's First Christmas!

As the picture clearly shows, the MacDonald parents did indeed succumb to the universal need to dress the baby as Santa Claus and take a billion pictures. Is there no shame in this household? Absolutely none.

Lash and Co. started the festivities by hosting a Christmas Eve dinner at their place for members of the Friedman and Baltau clans. Dad and Mom prepared a scrumptious feast of, among other things, chestnuts (not roasted over an open fire but in the oven) and ham (Honeybaked not MacDonald baked). Molly, who has been routinely going to bed at 7:00 without a whimper, decided that this night would be a good night to wake up every fifteen minutes for a wah-wah-wah session. Of course, as soon as the guests left around 9:00, Lash slept soundly through the night. Dad thanked Molly for the cold potatoes and ham he got to chew on after the guests had left :(.

On Christmas the MacDonalds woke up early and had eggs. Western omelets for the adults and a breast milk omelet - hold the eggs - for Molly. Presents were opened, greeting were exchanged, and kisses freely given. Instead of gifts, Molly got a t-shirt that reads "It's My First Christmas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt (and some money in my college fund)". Such is life for the college bound four month old. Later the family went to Grandma Baltau's for a delicious Thanksgiving-esque feast. It was tasty (and Lash slept through it!). Baby Molly got to spend lots of time with Grandma and Uncle Matthew. Not a bad day all in all.

Home for the Holidays :)

Happy Holidays to all and for us welcome back to blog-land. If you are particularly astute, you may notice that the last blog entry was a mere 12 hours before Molly's birth on August 2. Yes, it did in fact take four and a half months for me to bounce back from the many nights of sleeplessness and get back into the writing groove. However, as most Molly enthusiasts already know, she has been a wonderfully easy baby who has been sleeping through the night for almost two months now. In other words, I can't really blame the blog lapse on her. But since she can't protest, I will.

Life is good at Casa MacDonald. Molly continuously keeps us entertained with her her smiles and squawks (not to mention her diapers, wardrobe malfunctions, regurgitations, etc.). She is growing fast - weighing in at a portly 15.5 lbs. and measuring 24 inches from head to toe (75th percentile on both counts...ahem.. ahem...). She can tripod (kinda) but tends to tip over after a few minutes. She loves to stand when supported by Mom and Dad and is doing her damnedest to roll over. She occasionally accomplishes this incredible feat to the delight of all family members, especially herself! More importantly, Molly has recently graduated from reading "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?" to the Economist online. She has also been selected to serve on a council of international peace keepers mediating a solution to the Darfur crisis.

Mom and Dad are also doing well. Mom is doing an outstanding job as Mom to the beloved baby and is starting her final dissertation push (whenever Molly does down for a short sleep). Dad is taking a three week vacation (got to love public schools) and studying for a standardized test which, if successfully navigated, will grant him his Tier 1 Administrative Credential (sounds fancy but really just means he can do more paperwork). Cleo (Cat #1) is getting F-A-T. Dad wonders whether the new food is not metabolizing right or if Cleo is just depressed at being outclassed and under served since Lash's arrival. Max (Cat #2) likes to yowl. Period.

OK. Enough for now. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all!

Love. The MacDonalds.

Molly Mac - The Final Hours!

Only 12 hours to go until Molly's big arrival! We can't believe it! It seems like we were just talking about thinking about having a baby and tomorrow we'll be parents! The C-section is scheduled for 9:00 a.m. at Little Company of Mary Hospital in Torrance. We have to be there at 7:00 a.m so we can sit around in a "holding" room being anxious for two hours before we can actually go to the real delivery room. Molly should be on the outside by 9:45 a.m. so keep us in your thoughts and prayers! We think we're ready... we hope we're ready... we'll just have to figure it out as we go along.

Thanks to everybody for all your support, kind words, generous gifts, and love, love, love!

Welcome to the world little Molly Lash MacDonald!

Molly's Room, The Final Product!

Baby Bonanza!

June 23rd was Molly's baby shower - and what a shower it was! Hosted by Grandma Shirls at her Palos Verdes estate with chair scrubbing by yours truly it was an event to remember! The red carpet witnessed Deans, Principals, Authors, Ph. D. Candidates, Teachers, Heads-of-State, the Prince of Dubai, and K-Fed (who we had to pay a hundred bucks to make an appearance but was well worth it).

Guests mingled in the spacious Baltau backyard and dined on a sumptuous feast of Chinese Chicken Salad, Croissants, and Cupcakes. Party favors included "Welcome Molly" M&Ms and seed packets that would grow along with Molly. How hip is that?

Melissa and Molly were thrilled to have everyone there and felt extremely loved. Reached for comment at an after party at the Standard Hotel in downtown Los Angeles, Melissa said: "It was really special for me to have all the important women in my life in one place to celebrate Molly. I felt really loved and supported and am grateful to all of you that attended. Thank you for your generosity."

34 weeks and counting... Well, the last week and a half has been interesting to say the very least! And exciting? Sure why not. Two Mondays past Melissa awoke in the middle of the night to a curious tightening of her uterus (a.k.a contractions). When they became regular and only minutes apart, we decided to make a dash for the ER! When we arrived the contractions were only two minutes apart! Fortunately, with rest and water Melissa was able to get her uterus under control in no time. Unfortunately, the "false" contractions (Braxton-Hicks to the layperson) have continued to the present day and Melissa (read Melissa and Bill) have had to severely limit their activities to accommodate them. Not to worry though, we've found other ways to fill our time such as putting together co-sleepers, affixing bumpers, and hanging baby art (see nesting instinct)!

Anatomy of a Pregnant Woman

Melissa is starting to slow down a little but that doesn't mean she is on bed rest! In addition to carrying around baby Molly, Melissa is still working full time at UCLA on her dissertation and coordinating a city wide partnership between public schools and colleges. Not to mention that she just received the UCLA Dissertation Scholarship for her fifth year and submitted a chapter to be published in a book on media literacy. Does my wife rule or what? You go Melissa!

And so if she wants to take a little nap once in while? Well, that's just fine by me.

Greeting from month number eight! As you can probably tell from the picture, things are progressing nicely. We still can't believe that Molly's arrival is only weeks away! According the the baby bible (take your pick), Molly is covering herself in vernix (the white fatty layer that protects the skin) this week and packing on the pounds at about 1/2 lb. per week! I, for one, can't wait to meet her! Melissa, of course, is looking wonderful as usual. And she is still in good spirits - unless she's hungry :)

Molly Mac's Future Habitat! 6/10/2007

The countdown continues... Can you believe Melissa is almost into her eigth month of pregnancy? To us it seems like just yesterday we were thinking about getting pregnant and now little Molly is set to arrive in just weeks!

We are both very excited about her coming and are doing our best to prepare a warm and beautiful home for her (see the nesting instinct). The ironic thing is that Molly's room (which she won't even inhabit until sometime in 2008) is about a hundred times nicer than our room which we sleep in every night... I'm not quite sure how that happened.

Melissa is feeling good but slowing down just a little bit. This week she started swimming as walking is getting more and more difficult. Molly is still lying transverse (sideways) with her head on Melissa's right side and her feet on her left. We are encouraging her to turn head down for birth with incentives like a midnight curfew and unlimited text messaging to her friends but she remains stubbornly fixed in her favorite position. Any suggestions?

Thanks for your continuing support!

Love,

Bill, Melissa, and Molly

Hello all. And welcome back to Molly's blog. Molly is currently resting after a hard week of packing on pounds, in utero acrobatics, and the aforementioned "step-on-the-bladder" game - still surprisingly hilarious. As such, I will be in charge of the blog this week and trying to squeeze in a little Daddy content. Moms and Moms-to-be beware! You may not agree with all the following assessments of pregnancy related activities. If this happens, just picture yourself in your "special place" and breathe backwards from ten. Don't you fell better already? See Melissa, I did learn something in the birth class :).

Speaking of birth classes, that is where Melissa and I spent last weekend - ALL weekend. I'll be honest, there were more than a few times I thought about grabbing our pillows and making a break for it. But to be fair, I did learn a lot about the birth process and felt like it helped refocus our energy towards the baby. In general, we watched a lot of videos about people giving birth which probably would have earned an X rating in the theaters. Afterwards, I recommended to the facilitator that said videos might be more effective as birth control for sexually active teens (I'm kidding of course, any husband that has been to one of these classes knows this kind of comment would have drawn chuckles from the husbands, cold stares from the other wives, a jab in the ribs from your wife, and a cool, tight-lipped smile from the facilitator who now wholeheartedly believes you are an ignorant and insensitive cave man).

We also learned a lot about breathing and practiced ways to relax your wife during labor. For example, if your wife is in pain, make a fist and drive it unmercifully into the small of her back until she feels better. Simple right? I think the effectiveness of breathing exercises were best summed up in a book a friend gave me to read - a book about pregnancy written by a husband. He said to imagine yourself being kicked in the balls every three minutes for hours on end. This is probably what is feels like to be in labor. Now imagine that every time you were kicked in the jewels your wife told your to find your "special place" and breathe backwards from ten... All I know is that I'm going to owe Melissa big time after she gives birth to Molly. Let's face it boys, we are getting off easy.

I'd also like to share this cartoon with you - from the same book I mentioned earlier. It's pretty self explanatory. The only truth the image doesn't convey is that the power of the vacuum is inversely proportional to the length of time until your baby's is due. In other words, the closer you get to baby's birthday, the more it sucks... (monetarily, of course).

And now for an exciting round of...

Are You Smarter Than Someone Who Just
Spent Their Weekend at a Birthing Class?

Try to guess the meaning of the following pregnancy and birthing terms. If you can answer them all correctly then let me be the first to say that I am truly, deeply sorry.

1. Breech

A. The hole in your wallet through which cash is sucked out to buy ridiculous amounts of baby stuff (see aforementioned cartoon).

B. The nerdy character on television's "Saved By the Bell" who went on to write the quintessential guide to natural labor and delivery If It Ain't Breech, Don't Try to Section It.

C. A type of unpasteurized, French cheese that all pregnant women crave but which is strictly forbidden to them.

D. Instead of its head, your baby's feet are positioned to come down the birth canal first. Time for birth plan B!

2. Birth Ball

A. The position a baby takes just before rolling down the birth canal and into your life.

B. An elaborate party thrown for your baby just after conception.

C. A large, inflatable rubber ball used to strengthen muscles for labor.

D. A dangerous, full contact sport akin to rugby played by expectant Australian women.

3. Kegel

A. A contemporary of the German philosopher Hegel who concerned himself primarily with the neonatal dialectic.

B. An exercise designed to strengthen the muscles involved in birthing.

C. The hippest baby toy since Tickle-Me-Elmo.

D. From the same marketing geniuses who brought you the candy cigarette, a tiny keg filled with liquid sugar that prepares toddlers for their college years.

4. Primigravida

A. The less successful follow up album to Iron Butterfly's classic In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida whose towering guitar rifts mimic the sounds babies hear in utero.

B. The pasta dish overwhelmingly preferred by most post partum mothers.

C. Latin for: "Your husband is an ignorant and insensitive caveman".

D. A mother pregnant with her first child.

5. Doula

A. A woman that can be hired to help a woman through labor in case her husband is a total wimp who can't hack it.

B. Tony Soprano's new hired gun whose wife happens to be primigravida.

C. The spiced sausage overwhelmingly preferred by most post partum mothers.

D. Something you find in your baby's diaper.

6. Fundus

A. A bay in northeastern Canada known for its extreme high and low tides.

B. Basically what you are asking people to do by having a baby shower.

C. A type of Fromunda cheese found between a newborn's buttocks.

D. The top of the uterus (who knew?).

7. Bag of Waters

A. A new novel by Frank McCourt about a young Irish lad named Bag and his incredible journey from the village of Waters to a better life in New York City.

B. What you should bring to your child's first soccer game.

C. A less technical name for amniotic fluid - the liquid the baby spends most of its time in until he or she is born.

D. The electrolyte replacement drink overwhelmingly preferred by most post partum mothers.

8. Nesting

A. A chilling instinct that turns otherwise normal expectant mothers into single minded purchasing zombies bent on redecorating your entire home to accommodate a baby who would be happy in an old sock drawer.

B. A dark period in your life when you spent a lot of time at Macy's Home Store, Linen's and Things, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

C. See aforementioned cartoon.

D. All of the Above.

Good morning everyone! This is Molly Lash MacDonald reporting for the Daily Uterus. Among other important world news stories such as political riots in Pakistan and President Bush's relentless pursuit of known communist sympathizer Michael Moore, is the fact that my mother Melissa is pregnant (with me of course). Recently, I was able to catch up with her for this candid and revealing interview of a determined young woman in the throes of nascent motherhood.

Molly: Good morning Mom and happy Mother's Day!

Melissa: Good morning Molly and thanks for having me.

Molly: Well Mom, it's really YOU whose having ME.

(cautious controlled laughter on both sides)

Molly: Let's get down to it. Have you enjoyed being pregnant with me or not?

Melissa: Yes, of course! I've loved watching my belly grow and feeling you move around inside of me. Any discomfort I had at the beginning was well worth having you here and healthy. I already feel very connected to you!

Molly: But isn't it strange to have something growing inside you? Even if it is me...

Melissa: It's not strange. It's a miracle and a blessing! It's amazing to feel life growing inside you. My favorite part of the day is when you move! I feel complete because my body is doing what it was meant to do.

Molly: You make it sound as if pregnancy is all roses. Tell me honestly, what is the most difficult thing about being pregnant?

Melissa: Probably not being able to sleep well. Every night I have to try to arrange pillows in just the right way so that you and I can both sleep comfortably. It's like some ridiculous jigsaw puzzle where the pieces are constantly changing! Morning sickness and back pain are not that great either.

Molly: Sometimes in the middle of the night I awake to a terrible screeching and yowling noise. Is there some terrible monster in the house you're not telling me about?

Melissa: Don't worry. That's just your feline brother Maxie trying to get our attention. He likes to walk around the house in the early morning hours yowling and whining. It's annoying but harmless.

Molly: I read that pregnant women crave certain foods. Are there any foods that you can't live without?

Melissa: Tillamook sharp cheddar - the kind that comes in the black loaf. It's incredible! I have your Dad make me macaroni and cheese with it. I also love strawberry yogurt with almonds and whole wheat toast with strawberry jelly.

Molly: So why Molly Lash MacDonald?

Melissa: I have always loved the name Molly. And it starts with an M so you share my intials as well as a first intital with your uncle Matthew and your grandfather Michael. Lash is your great grandmother's name and I have always felt that she is my guardian angel. Maybe she will be yours too! MacDonald is our family name, but you already knew that.

Molly: O.K. seriously, what is going on with my bedroom? Are you and Dad planning on just plopping me down on the floor amongst all those boxes?

Melissa: Well, we were sort of hoping you wouldn't notice... The truth is that your new furniture should be arriving this week. Once it is here, your Dad and I will begin to fix up your room and organize your new belongings. We have already started to get you the clothes and supplies needed to keep you warm, clean, safe, and entertained.

Molly: Amen sister! I mean Mom... Since my coordination won't be so hot for the first few years I'm counting on you to dress me. Please be kind... no bonnets or sailor outfits please.

Melissa: Don't worry. When you look good, I look good.

Molly: Speaking of which, you DO look good. What are you doing to stay in shape?

Melissa: I walk and do prenatal yoga once a week. It helps me learn how to breathe and stretch my body to make room for you.

Molly: Last question. If you were Angelina Jolie, what country would you choose to birth me in and why?

Melissa: Hmm...definitely a Spanish speaking country - most likely in South America. I speak Spanish and want you to be bilingual too.

Molly: Muchas Gracias! Is there anything else you would like to add?

Melissa: I love you very much and am doing everything I can so that you are happy, healthy, and strong. I want you to continue to enjoy a safe development until you are ready to join us on the outside!

Thanks for the interview Mom. You sure know how to put a partially developed brain at rest. This reminds me, I need to get some rest. Later, I have to do some back flips and then see if I can put my foot in just the right spot so that you think you have to pee (trust me - it's hilarious). This is Molly Lash MacDonald signing out until next week.

(The following was transcripted verbatim from Molly's tappings on the uterine wall...)

Hello everybody. It's good to finally have an outlet to share my thoughts. Isn't the internet amazing? In my small and humble opinion, this prevalent information age is truly revolutionary and will almost certainly recast our current methods of articulation.

All is well in utero. I'll have you all know that I do have all the parts I'm supposed to have, including ten fingers and toes, and that my skin is quite smooth albeit covered with vernix caseosa and lanugo (that's a fatty, white coating and fine, down-like hair to the lay person). I mention this because it has come to my attention that some of you (and I won't name names here) weren't able to discern my image from the 4D picture posted last week! Come on people! Where is your imagination? I'm right there crossing my arms across my face! And don't worry about those lumps and bumps, that's just distortion caused by the refraction of sound waves in an aqueous medium. I have asked my parents to post a clearer picture of me this week and although I think it is the profile shot (not my best angle), I hope you will find it more accessible.

All right, I've got to go cycle my legs a bit. Maybe even swallow some amniotic fluid if there's time. Thanks for tuning in.

Love,

Molly

Hi everyone! Welcome to Molly's blog! We finally got our act together and figured out how to get this spot going. It only took us six months! Now that it's up we hope (fingers crossed) to keep it updated weekly. Here's the scoop...

As you can probably tell, Melissa has definitely gotten bigger (in a cute mother-to-be, pregnancy sort of way of course). As far as we can tell, Molly is thoroughly enjoying her rapidly expanding habitat. Melissa has felt her rummaging around in her belly for over a month now and her kicks, twists, and other acrobatics continue to get more frequent and and pronounced. Just the other day we could clearly see her little butt sticking out on one side and feel the top of her head on the other! You go Molly!

So who is Molly Lash MacDonald? Well, as I mentioned earlier, she is quite active and she seems to like to somersault and kick which means she will either be an Olympic gymnast (Gold Medal 2028) or the first woman to win the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). As you can probably tell from her 4D photo, Molly is extremely camera shy. This means she probably won't be a child star or model for Anne Geddes. We are, of course, extremely devastated by this but like good parents will support Molly's decision. Molly also enjoys classic rock, chocolate cake, hazelnut gelato, reading (she already knows her alphabet which she communicates through Morse code by tapping on the wall of Melissa's uterus), yoga, transcendental meditation, and watching Lost - although she thinks it's ridiculous that the survivors continue to let Juliet live with them - can you say sinister and creepy?

Well, we hope you enjoyed learning a little bit about baby Molly. We are so excited to finally meet her in August and already love her more than we express! Thank you all for sharing our experience!

Love,

Bill and Melissa